To love cycling is to live with disappointment. The highs are high and the lows are the norm. A fast ride punctuated by a puncture. A climb curtailed by a missed gear or slipped chain, a descent destroyed by a misread camber or simply lack of cojones.Kit is worse. Expensive Lycra that chafes, shoes that constrict, waterproofs that aren’t. The list goes on.

Cycling is seductive though. Bike industry marketeers have mastered the art of seduction. I lap it up, fall for it every time, (like a blue collar worker believing that a billionaire is on their side).

Smart Turbo Trainers promise pleasure through pain, experience the toughest climbs from the comfort of your own home, race other housebound cyclists in virtual reality.

Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Here’s the small print:

Zwift doesn’t work on iPad IOS. So it’s long wires & laptops perched precariously on furniture. Cycling is freedom, I want wireless. BKool doesn’t communicate fully with my Elite trainer so resistance doesn’t change as I climb a virtual mountain. Elite’s training programme thinks I’m averaging 60kmph uphill (I wish).

(FWCP: First World Cycling Problems).

Reading the Turbo Trainer Technical Forums I’m not alone it seems in experiencing very real disappointment in virtual reality. This feels like a valuable life lesson.

What now? Simple. Keep it simple. Close the door. Turn up the music volume (Turbo Trainers are loud!) enjoy the endorphins, copious sweating and ride hard for the real road in 2017.