christmas cycling

christmas cycling

Something has happened to Christmas.  Not commercialism, nor loss of its true meaning (that happened in the 4th Century AD when the Christians hijacked various Pagans’ Winter Solstice festivals).  No Christmas has changed because of the rapha.cc/feature/festive-500 on www.strava.com/.

Everyone is cycling.  Every day between Christmas and New Year.  Trying to rack up a cold, wintry 500 km.

Christmas used to be incarceration by family, with no escape as friends were similarly imprisoned, seemingly for the full 12 days of Christmas.  This year, everyday there’s been rides with organised or available for the riding with good mates (or with someone you vaguely know on the cycle club’s WhatsApp).  Even on Christmas Day (if you wanted/needed one).

Only Daley Thompson used to train on Christmas Day!

Winter cycling kit has been tested to the extreme.  Motivation is equally tested by an increase in punctures from dirty winter roads.

Starting with Hurricane Barbara, the weather systems have thrown everything at festive cyclists:  rain, wind, sub-zero temperatures, deep fog and stunning early morning sunrises (it may be Christmas but seasonal goodwill does not extend far enough to grant cycle-passes outside of the statutory hours of 7-11am).

It would’ve been great to stop for a photo but the riding has been fat, fast and suburban (to keep clear of rural ice roads), no time to stop for snaps.  The energy burn has been high too, as fast as the turkey and spuds are shovelled in they’re burnt off the next morning (that’s the theory, par is probably the best that can be hoped for).

Best Christmas ever!

(and I didn’t even sign up for the Festive 500).

(Photos courtesy of @kieranhc)

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sweat out Brexit

sweat out Brexit

I’m loving indoor training.  I get it. It’s my new favourite evening (in).  A cycling variation on Netflix & Chill.  Just sweatier. For 1.

Netflix & Spin.

It’s OK to change your mind.

Select interval training program, clip in and sweat.  I’ve always loved a good sweat – somehow cleansing.  This is sweating of a different magnitude – puddle on the floor sweating, I’m considering wearing a McEnroe-esque head band.  Just considering, I’m not there yet.

It helps that I can overlay a box-set on to the trainer control panel, positioning it over the ever slow ‘time to go’.  An episode (or 2) of Vikings later (I’m fully up to speed on Game of Thrones) and with total mileage spun loaded up to Strava.com, keeping the annual mileage ticking up – it’s an hour well spent.

I admit I was wrong about indoor training.  I’m not going to stop now even though my hand is healing and ready to get back on the road.  As I mop the floor, I ask myself what else might I be wrong about?

Might I be wrong about BREXIT?  What if…

Britain is a trailblazer (BREXITEERS would love that), the sparks of the EXITEER-movement shows signs of catching alight in Continental Europe.  Amongst the post-truth hysteria there are some incontrovertible truths.

  • The EU is a project that needs a reboot for our times. A post war concept born out of disaster it has served to preserve peace for 70 years.  But nothing lasts forever.  European Federalism looks tired and outdated.
  • Globalisation needs the brakes applied. Globalisation is super-efficiency, super-low-cost, super-I-want-it-now.  Is it worth it?  Are the jobs lost making jeans in the UK* to 3rd World Sweatshop using child labour worth it?  Globalisation isn’t by the people for the people.  The Globalisation we have allowed is for the ever-demanding consumer by the stateless corporations.**
  • Political and Civil Bureaucracy needs trimming a back. Central Governments are weighed down by unnecessary self-fulfilling bureaucracy that has lost sight of its original purpose.  The gravy train is running at full speed, no one can jump off (even if they wanted to), it’s impossible to get on.  Maybe it’s time to drain the swamp.  Just not if it’s to build a parking lot (that’s not progress).

We don’t need the same-old capitalism, liberalism, socialism (see above outdated project needing a re-boot), we can’t turn back the clock but we can work out a new modern international dynamism.

I hope the UK can be at the vanguard, sweat out the clowns (boris, farage, rees-mogg) and show the right way through smart thinking, hard work, no cutting corners.***

*Substitute with any Developed World country

** http://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2016/12/05/mark-carney-warns-first-lost-decade-150-years-brands-eurozone/

*** I’m not convinced we’re heading in this direction.

stop to go forwards

stop to go forwards

Professional sportsmen are special.  Special in lots of ways. Physically obviously.  Mentally as well.

The latter often not as lauded as the former. Indoor training is challenging me more mentally than physically.  It is sometimes difficult enough to drag myself out on a road bike for training, I’m finding the Indoor Trainer harder despite its ease: ease of accessibility, ease of set up, ease of kitting up – shoes and shorts, maybe a jersey if my sister is in the house.  That’s it. Good to go in 2 minutes.

What’s the problem? It’s warm, safe and convenient?

In part, it’s the lack of visual stimulus (nothing beats being outside, riding in the real world) but most of all its static. Done right, the legs burn but distance is only a number on a screen, a sterile statistic.  All that effort gets you nowhere.

That’s just life. It could be worse I could be going backwards.  Like our World.  I’m not talking about world politics (2nd Cold War anyone?), climate control (new Coal Power Stations please), or intolerance (re-rise of the Fascists).  Whilst cycling no where I was thinking about riding a bike. In Hull.  Recently the Guardian ran an article about Hull in the 1950s being a cycling city.

https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2016/dec/05/cycling-heaven-hull-city-recapture-1950s-pedal-power-heyday

Now it isn’t.  It’s choked by stagnant, stationary traffic.  It still has all the raw materials to be a cycling city but its collective mind-set has adopted the car as its mass-transport of choice.  There’s little progress.

As I churn out virtual kilometres (hoping to be match fit/ firing on all cylinders in Spring), I consider that being made to slow down, stop, look backwards is part of moving forwards.  Stop freewheeling and learn from our past mistakes (1930s Rise of Fascism / 1960s Cold War tensions / 1980s Acid Rain) and ask ourselves: what’s worked before to get us back on track?

Nothing wrong with re-inventing the wheel, especially if there is nothing wrong with the wheel first time round.

Whilst motivation can be hard to find I’m not going to give up on staying put to move forward just yet.  When you hear a professional cyclist say “I’ve spent the Winter in the Wind Tunnel” I won’t envy them but I will respect them – constantly looking at ways to go forward, faster, harder, better.

virtually useless

virtually useless

To love cycling is to live with disappointment. The highs are high and the lows are the norm. A fast ride punctuated by a puncture. A climb curtailed by a missed gear or slipped chain, a descent destroyed by a misread camber or simply lack of cojones.Kit is worse. Expensive Lycra that chafes, shoes that constrict, waterproofs that aren’t. The list goes on.

Cycling is seductive though. Bike industry marketeers have mastered the art of seduction. I lap it up, fall for it every time, (like a blue collar worker believing that a billionaire is on their side).

Smart Turbo Trainers promise pleasure through pain, experience the toughest climbs from the comfort of your own home, race other housebound cyclists in virtual reality.

Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Here’s the small print:

Zwift doesn’t work on iPad IOS. So it’s long wires & laptops perched precariously on furniture. Cycling is freedom, I want wireless. BKool doesn’t communicate fully with my Elite trainer so resistance doesn’t change as I climb a virtual mountain. Elite’s training programme thinks I’m averaging 60kmph uphill (I wish).

(FWCP: First World Cycling Problems).

Reading the Turbo Trainer Technical Forums I’m not alone it seems in experiencing very real disappointment in virtual reality. This feels like a valuable life lesson.

What now? Simple. Keep it simple. Close the door. Turn up the music volume (Turbo Trainers are loud!) enjoy the endorphins, copious sweating and ride hard for the real road in 2017.